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Talking With Loved Ones About Final Wishes

Published: June 25, 2021

Discussions pertaining to grief and the passing of a loved one are never easy. In fact, most Americans avoid having those conversations altogether. However, these conversations are so critical, no matter how uncomfortable and sad they may become. They grant the opportunity to learn more about the medical care and funeral arrangements that your family members prefer for when the time does come. Even though it may not seem like the “right time” to have these deep conversations, discussing your loved ones final wishes should be a priority. Here, the team at Evans Funeral Chapel & Cremation Services outlines more on how to initiate these conversations and what you should expect.

Approaching Your Loved One About Their Last Wishes

If you or your loved one feel uncomfortable or hesitant to discuss the topic of death and funeral plans, approaching this discussion could be rather difficult. Every family member handles things differently, and there is no one better than you to know how they will respond to such a deep conversation. If they generally handle serious conversations well, consider taking a direct approach such as “Have you made any funeral plans,” or “I know that this is a difficult subject, but have you thought about making any funeral service arrangements?”

Contrarily, if the topic makes both you and your loved one uncomfortable, consider taking a less-direct approach with more open-ended or hypothetical questions. Strike up a conversation by asking “Have you ever thought about the kind of funeral you would want,” and even discuss your own wishes to make your loved one feel more open and comfortable. You could even consider turning the discussion into a game by writing down specific questions on pieces of paper and taking turns to answer in the hopes that it will lead to a more open conversation. These questions can include “What flowers would you like at your funeral,” or “What music would you want to be played?”

Ask for Details, But Be Prepared for Any Response

Organizing a funeral comes with a large number of different decisions, many which most people overlook. From floral arrangement to the type of coffin or urn, there are so many specific details that would be greatly beneficial to be aware of beforehand. Some key information that you should have includes:

Organizing a funeral comes with a large number of different decisions, many which most people overlook. From floral arrangement to the type of coffin or urn, there are so many specific details that would be greatly beneficial to be aware of beforehand. Some key information that you should have includes:


- Their funeral preferences - perhaps already arranged in a funeral plan.

- Their will or life insurance policy.

- Possible provisions for funeral costs.

- Their preferences for end of life care.

Some loved ones may even choose to keep all their wishes in one place such as a letter of wishes, a document listing all of their preferences which can be kept with their will until they pass. Additionally, if your loved one has difficulty discussing their last wishes openly with you, they may choose to create a separate file of all of their wishes and preferences that can be made accessible to you once they pass.

As with other deep subjects, a discussion around death and last wishes could possibly provoke some unexpected responses and reactions from your loved ones. Some may become angry or deeply upset, while others may become quiet or completely shut off. It is important to keep in mind that while having these conversations, no matter how emotionally charged either one of you may become, you are doing this because you love them and want to prepare the best funeral or service for them possible.

Contact Evans Funeral Chapel & Cremation Services To Discuss Your Options

At times, your loved ones may be reluctant to discuss such a deep and depressing topic. As long as you keep their personality, beliefs, and passions in mind, you can rest assured knowing that you did all that you could to prepare the best funeral possible for your loved one. The team at Evans Funeral Chapel & Cremation Services understands that the passing of a loved one is never an easy time. We are here to assist you in the planning and execution of the best possible service, allowing you the time to grieve and celebrate your loved one. To learn more about our provided services or to contact a member of our team, visit our website or call one of our locations today.

 
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